worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
