I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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