i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
