I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
