its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
