so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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