this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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