Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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