and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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