I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize