I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
