Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.