Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots