It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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