Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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