strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
