You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
