I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
