yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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