Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
