I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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