Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
