Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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