Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
sex in a hospital.. check
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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