Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
