Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this will be a night to untag.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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