Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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