I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
worst night to have a conscience
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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