Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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