Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
