Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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