question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
