I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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