I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize