You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
