So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
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I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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