Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
