what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
