i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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