Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
