home. puking in laundry basket.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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