North Korea, Best Korea!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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