I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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