i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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