Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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