I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
