Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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