I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
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That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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