I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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