my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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