I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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