is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
