I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
