Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
