You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
