cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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