I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
