Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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  (847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (3651)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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  (757): everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date. http://tfl.nu/pynx
  Replies (36) Good night (999) Bad night (4296)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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  (518): i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again http://tfl.nu/g38z
  Replies (21) Good night (5782) Bad night (1298)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers

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  (586): Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers http://tfl.nu/65ag
  Replies (8) Good night (4796) Bad night (1040)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2524) Bad night (3232)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  One less school supply you need to buy!!

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  (443): Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!! (860): One less school supply you need to buy!! http://tfl.nu/u0z5
  Replies (25) Good night (5357) Bad night (1258)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (2962) Bad night (880)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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  (206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8
  Replies (9) Good night (4143) Bad night (762)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done

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  (318): We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done http://tfl.nu/r8w7
  Replies (4) Good night (3530) Bad night (1180)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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  (907): Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong. http://tfl.nu/skna
  Replies (8) Good night (2846) Bad night (877)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...

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  (503): So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address... http://tfl.nu/a3xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1813) Bad night (494)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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  (908): I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon. http://tfl.nu/vwke
  Replies (13) Good night (1854) Bad night (571)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.

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  (901): Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here. http://tfl.nu/g9cl
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (670)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.

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  (509): I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool. http://tfl.nu/4gt2
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (359)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.

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  (970): There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner. http://tfl.nu/d05g
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (296)

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