I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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