Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.