I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.