Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

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(860): i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life. http://tfl.nu/14qy

Replies (49) Good night (773) Bad night (6665)
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(415): View more from California

I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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(415): I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me. http://tfl.nu/6ugc

Replies (15) Good night (835) Bad night (2224)
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(970): View more from Colorado

she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.

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(970): she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society. http://tfl.nu/p2lg

Replies (74) Good night (917) Bad night (2826)
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(954): View more from Florida

like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

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(954): like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it http://tfl.nu/s684

Replies (21) Good night (1748) Bad night (3247)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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(678): Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend http://tfl.nu/u7rd

Replies (8) Good night (5316) Bad night (1060)
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(720): View more from Colorado

These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.

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(720): These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo. http://tfl.nu/f63z

Replies (5) Good night (3088) Bad night (1529)
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(765): View more from Indiana

What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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(765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3

Replies (13) Good night (2899) Bad night (878)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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(678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x

Replies (5) Good night (1495) Bad night (1023)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....

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(724): Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on.... http://tfl.nu/te8z

Replies (67) Good night (2035) Bad night (7637)
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(661): View more from California

He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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(661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp

Replies (23) Good night (2632) Bad night (1415)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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(403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw

Replies (2) Good night (1533) Bad night (703)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.

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(603): Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me. http://tfl.nu/xrxi

Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (644)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here

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(306): had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious (1-306): that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here http://tfl.nu/w93t

Replies (1) Good night (735) Bad night (370)
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(805): View more from California

my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse

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(805): my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse http://tfl.nu/zkhh

Replies (0) Good night (822) Bad night (553)
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(607): View more from New York

Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour

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(607): Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour http://tfl.nu/fhu0

Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (774)

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