Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy

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  (586): Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy http://tfl.nu/kc5d
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (434)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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  (417): Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional? http://tfl.nu/5yvr
  Replies (7) Good night (1782) Bad night (696)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

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  (201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq
  Replies (16) Good night (4830) Bad night (738)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...

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  (902): I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL... http://tfl.nu/s81g
  Replies (25) Good night (756) Bad night (9586)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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  (717): My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential. http://tfl.nu/qhq9
  Replies (23) Good night (966) Bad night (4761)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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  (703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2 http://tfl.nu/k675
  Replies (47) Good night (4087) Bad night (9459)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1826) Bad night (663)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.

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  (480): Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT. http://tfl.nu/l2cm
  Replies (8) Good night (1968) Bad night (587)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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  (713): onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper. http://tfl.nu/3zpi
  Replies (10) Good night (1456) Bad night (611)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1662) Bad night (450)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".

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  (972): We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away". http://tfl.nu/ker4
  Replies (1) Good night (999) Bad night (474)
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  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
  Replies (12) Good night (1502) Bad night (733)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.

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  (401): I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you. http://tfl.nu/woyu
  Replies (7) Good night (853) Bad night (347)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1565) Bad night (473)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.

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  (505): I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked. http://tfl.nu/byyl
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (272)

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