Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!