I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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