You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize