i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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