Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
