It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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